yeah
well, I have to say airing your troubles out to the world and focusing on them *is* self pity. I mean, we all have a driving desire to achieve success (of some kind) and maybe, the reason you're raking yourself over coals is that your definition of success is skewed. If life weren't awkward, everyone would have it figured out.

Don't get me wrong I feel disconnected, not only with the systems which run my life, but with the people I come across as well, but that's what makes us fiercely individualistic... If we all offed ourselves it'd be a nation of Dan Quayle's all living out responcible little lives.

As far as being "stuck" somewhere, there's pretty much the same distribution of assholes everywhere, just different scenery.

I recommend finding a girl who is headstrong, but shy, and somewhat self-concious, with a history of bad relationships, they tend to treat you better. I know that's simplistic, but there's all kinds of reasoning behind it.